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Starting a conversation on a dating app can be intimidating. Many people freeze when it’s time to send that first message. A good opening can make all the difference between being ignored and capturing someone’s attention. That’s why learning what to say is essential to increase your chances of building real connections.

Why is the first message so important?

The first message is like a business card in the digital dating world. It shows interest, personality, and intention. A poorly thought-out approach can come across as boring. On the other hand, a creative message can open the door to an engaging conversation. Taking a few extra seconds to think about what to write shows care and authenticity.

Avoid generic messages

A common mistake is starting with phrases like “Hi, how are you?”. While polite, these messages rarely stand out. In the competitive world of dating apps, you need to be creative. Making comments about photos, descriptions, or hobbies listed on the other person’s profile increases your chances of getting a reply. Show that you actually read the profile and aren’t just copying and pasting messages.

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Use open-ended questions

Messages that encourage longer responses are more effective. Open-ended questions create room for dialogue. For example: “I saw you love to travel — what was your favorite trip?” This technique shows genuine interest and avoids one-word answers. Plus, it creates more opportunities to find things in common.

Show authenticity and lightness

Being authentic is essential. There’s no need to come up with elaborate lines to impress. A touch of humor or lightness can make the conversation more enjoyable. Spontaneous and relaxed messages often come across as more likeable. The key is not to force a style that doesn’t suit you.

Avoid exaggerations

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Messages that are too formal or full of over-the-top compliments can sound fake. Saying “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve seen here” might come off as flattery. The safest path is to balance friendliness with naturalness. Subtle compliments, especially those that refer to something specific in the profile, tend to have a greater impact.

Quick tips to grab attention

  • Refer to something in the profile
  • Use light humor
  • Ask open-ended questions
  • Avoid clichés and stock phrases
  • Be brief and to the point

Examples of creative first messages

  • “I saw you’re into movies — what was the last one that really surprised you?”
  • “That photo with your dog is awesome! He looks like a troublemaker.”
  • “Do you prefer the beach or the mountains? I need to know so I can plan an imaginary trip.”
  • “Your music taste is great. What concert do you dream of going to?”

These examples show genuine interest and encourage more thoughtful replies.

The first message on a dating app can set the tone for the whole interaction. Avoiding clichés, being creative, and staying authentic are key steps. Show real interest in the other person and create space for a natural conversation. This way, your chances of standing out increase, and you can build more meaningful connections.